Friend of God

I was just reading and article from Relevant Magazine about this woman that called off her wedding 18 days before the day. She had thought that God was finally brought her the ultimate desire of her heart. Everything seemed perfect in their relationship, but in private something was missing. This is the part that really got to me:

I realized in hindsight that God had been speaking to me all along, I just didn’t want to hear what He was saying. A month and a half before my wedding God asked me the unthinkable: “Do you trust me enough to call this off?”

In doing so, He was asking me to face my biggest fear—not getting married, the thing that I really want most in life. For me, not getting married means that God really isn’t as good as I say He is. It means He really doesn’t fulfill the desires of our hearts, and that’s scary.

But God asks us to give Him the things that are dearest to our souls, the desires of our hearts. That’s what He did with Abraham when He asked him to sacrifice his promised son, Isaac. That doesn’t make sense, though! God promised to give Abraham a son and finally, after years of waiting, God came through, with Isaac. Why in the world would God ask Abraham to give up that gift? In my opinion, it is for the same reason He asked me to call off my wedding. God wants us to love Him more than we love His promises. The minute we get those out of order, He readjusts us.

I am readjusted.

Unlike Abraham, He didn’t stop me at the last minute on this one, He let me do it, and He’s been carrying me ever since.

I am not sure how my story will end. I know God’s got a lot of work on His hands; there is a lot of healing that must take place.

At the end of the day, however, I can say “I trust you, God,” and mean it; I haven’t meant that in regards to relationships my whole life; that’s the area I’ve kept just for me, thinking that my judgment in that area is better than His.

I am thankful for His grace that saved me from ruining my life by pursuing my dream.

The line about "God wants us to love Him more than we love His promises" got me thinking, do I really love God more than his promises. Do I love him enough that I want whatever he wants just because I love him. I do want what God wants, because I know that he knows best, but I do argue with him fairly often. I get scared that, oh no, what if God wants to teach me this, what if God doesn't want me to get married, then I have to remind myself that God is in control and wants what's best for me, so don't worry, life is better when we put God in control, not worse.
So I know I have some work to do, putting God's desires ahead of my own, not for my own sake but for his.